You and why

What to do if from this moment you forget about your own life and all your thoughts become occupied by an exclusively beloved and unexpected rival? You dream of fantastic dreams in which they are sitting handsome with happy smiles on their faces, and in the meantime you are frantically conducting bugs in advance in the apartment to know everything they talk about when they remain together. Having woken up, you want to not think about them, but the hammers knock in your head again: why, why, why did you take the fact that all this time only belonged to you and why it is better than you?